I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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