Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
