somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
being pregnant is like rehab
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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