never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize