Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize