You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
