how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
