new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All the doctor said was why
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
