I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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