so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
