we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
