I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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