Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
