Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
