nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Someone signed my nipple.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
