so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
