HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
