u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
