I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
