I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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