She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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