oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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