Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
