Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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