you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
