you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
