So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
