$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
