dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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