How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
