Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
