Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
