You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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