I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
