You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
