I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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