My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
