good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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