I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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