yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
