This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
