And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
