I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
