Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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