all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize