bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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