we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
