Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
