you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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