Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
