Kiss
Puke
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
