I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
